In A Grief Observed, the journal C.S. Lewis kept after his wife died, he described the circular nature of loss, “For in grief nothing ‘stays put.’ One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral?”
Grief can be frustrating. Just when it feels like you’ve turned a corner, a surge of emotion can send you back to square one. Often, those who attend our groups ask, “Am I moving backwards?”
But we rarely go backwards, usually we just go deeper. Grief goes with us, surfacing even when we think we’re past the worst of it. This may be experienced when approaching an anniversary or milestone — the birth of a grandchild, a wedding, a move. We might even ache in joyful times. As our awareness of absence deepens, may we also know presence in what remains: love given and love received and the unique, unforgettable experiences that make us who we are.
-Chaplain Jenny Schroedel
Optage Hospice Chaplain Jenny Schroedel facilitates grief groups across PHS sites and in the larger community. Jenny is also an author, most recently of Naming The Child: Hope-filled Reflections on Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death.
If you are interested in joining a group or establishing one at your community, contact Optage Hospice at 651-746-8200.