“And no one ever told me about the laziness of grief. Except at my job — where the machine seems to run on much as usual — I loathe the slightest effort. Not only writing but even reading a letter is too much.”
– C.S. Lewis, “A Grief Observed”
Loss can sap motivation. Navigating this world without our loved one takes energy, not to mention the additional tasks—planning a memorial, managing an estate, communicating with others. If you are struggling to get motivated, know that this is normal, especially in early grief.
Here are some suggestions:
- Give yourself time. You may need to slow down to absorb the changes. It takes time to grieve, remember, and find your footing.
- Adjust expectations. Your mind might feel fuzzy. You may experience short term memory loss and difficulty focusing. Be gentle with yourself, focusing on slow, steady progress and allowing for pauses.
- Outsource. In the disorientation of loss, when people say, “Let me know how I can help,” it can be tricky to know what to ask for. Consider logging names so that you can connect friends with tasks.
Remember, this is just a season of life. It’s okay to let yourself move through it differently, taking time to rest and recover. The process will guide you forward, and healing comes in its own mysterious time.
-Chaplain Jenny Schroedel
Optage Hospice Chaplain Jenny Schroedel facilitates grief groups across PHS sites and in the larger community. Jenny is also an author, most recently of Naming The Child: Hope-filled Reflections on Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death.
If you are interested in joining a group or establishing one at your community, contact Optage Hospice at 651-746-8200.