As my parents were dying, I developed a fascination with birds. I started purchasing feeders and bird baths, researching the best seeds. I kept the birdbaths fresh and feeders full and soon, I knew them by name: white-breasted nuthatch, downy woodpecker, black-capped chickadee.
The birds that came to feast became a daily bright spot during my five years as a caregiver. They did not take away the pain, fear or chaos, but they helped me bear it by giving me something else to carry in my heart.
When you are experiencing loss, the world can feel sharp and dull. Everything can feel like too much but also not quite enough. For me, daily exposure to beauty helped me to set my own concerns against something more expansive.
Among our hospice clients, Psalm 23 is consistently beloved, and many can still recite it when all other words have been lost. It is a powerful reminder that even when the pain is so great that we can hardly bear it, we are not alone. God is with us, leading us beside still waters, making us lie down in green pastures and inviting us to see deeper into things: this unfair and broken world also contains delicate hummingbirds and spider webs dotted with dew, fresh mornings and deep love beating at the heart of it all, ready to restore our souls.
Optage Hospice Chaplain Jenny Schroedel facilitates grief groups across PHS sites and in the larger community. Jenny is also an author, most recently of Naming The Child: Hope-filled Reflections on Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death.
If you are interested in joining a group or establishing one at your community, contact Optage Hospice at 651-746-8200.