In some of our in-person grief groups across PHS communities, we offer Kintsugi, which is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. The practice in Japan, when a bowl cracks, is not to toss it. Instead, the pieces are carefully reassembled and sealed with gold to accentuate their unique history.
Kintsugi offers a powerful metaphor for the breaking and repair that loss brings into our lives. Likewise, within traditional Judaism, mourners tear their clothes. This tearing or Kriah, can be done ritually at the funeral home and allows for a powerful release of emotions. After the most intense season of grief is complete, clothing can be mended using uneven stitches. Just as in Kintsugi the cracks are accentuated with gold, within Judaism the loss remains visible. Repaired garments are not to be sold or given away. In each of our lives, the work of rending and mending is uniquely our own.
Kintsugi works best with hand-made pottery, which usually breaks into a few pieces rather than shattering. We too are earthen vessels — fragile, imperfect, unique, always carrying within us the great treasure of God’s love. This love, mysteriously at work in us, helps us slowly fit the jagged pieces of our lives back together, even when we feel most broken. In life, and in Kintsugi, sometimes a few extra hands are needed to hold wobbly pieces together until they are set. The mended bowl holds the memory of loss and healing, worthy of the treasure within.
– Chaplain Jenny Schroedel
Optage Hospice Chaplain Jenny Schroedel facilitates grief groups across PHS sites and in the larger community. Jenny is also an author, most recently of Naming The Child: Hope-filled Reflections on Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death.
If you are interested in joining a group or establishing one at your community, contact Optage Hospice or call 651-746-8200. Optage is the home and community services division of Presbyterian Homes & Services.