If you are in a season of caregiving or facing the grief that follows, you may have heard the advice, “Don’t make any major decisions for at least a year.” Perhaps this makes sense to you, as you might be feeling disoriented and untethered. All these changes can make the world feel strange indeed. These feelings could be further compounded if your loved one was your sounding board.
At the same time, like any advice, this one might not fit your life right now. Here are some suggestions:
- Consider your own context. If you are facing a major health concern or financial constraints, you may need to make a more immediate change. A trusted friend or counselor can help you think through next steps.
- Can this wait? Many decisions can wait. Perhaps the memorial service does not need to happen immediately. Maybe you do not need to sort through all your loved one’s belongings right away. In time, you likely will have more clarity about what to keep.
- Trust your gut. You may have an intuitive sense of what you need to do. Perhaps you’ll do some things that look odd to others – like book that trip, redecorate your home, or begin a new venture to honor the legacy of your loved one. For each of us, the path is unique and only we can discover our way into tomorrow.
Grief support groups
Making Decisions in Grief – Optage Monthly Support Group – Meets every third Wednesday
June 21, 7 – 8 p.m. CT
When you are grieving, it can be difficult to see the way ahead. We’ll offer some guidelines for decision-making after a loss.
Finding Meaning & Purpose Through Loss – Six Weeks
Tuesdays 7-8 p.m. CT, July 11-August 15
Explore the growth and transformation that can come through a season of loss. We’ll discuss meaning-making, legacy and hope as you chart your path forward. (This group is limited to 10 attendees, so please register early).
Optage Hospice Chaplain Jenny Schroedel facilitates grief groups across PHS sites and in the larger community. Jenny is also an author, most recently of Naming The Child: Hope-filled Reflections on Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death.
If you are interested in joining a group, contact Optage Hospice or call 651-746-8200. Optage is the home and community services division of Presbyterian Homes & Services.