As the days become colder and the trees begin to shed their leaves, I find myself thinking about how time moves through seasons in its own mysterious way. Summer gives way to fall, fall to winter and then spring once again. In autumn, nature seems to know just what to do: the trees release their leaves, the days grow shorter and animals move into their earthen dens for their long winter sleep.
There is a kind of surrender in this. Autumn is also a season of loss for many who attend our grief groups and for my family, as my mom and her siblings all died in the fall, following their birth order: my uncle Harry died in September, my aunt Nancy died in October and my mom died in November.
In a season of loss, there is both release and holding on. Within grief support, we no longer talk about “closure” as a goal, as most people seem to want to find a way to remain connected to their loved one.
In this way, the relationship profoundly changes but also continues in its own mysterious way. We need not let go of the relationship – we can cherish it for the rest of our lives. And yet, loss brings us into a different season, where certain things may suddenly seem too heavy to carry, like the disappointment with friends or family who were not there in the way we’d hoped or our own expectations for how the next years of our lives might unfold.
Fall is a reminder that letting go is both possible and natural. And fall is also a reminder of what remains and what can warm us in the long winter ahead: love given, love received, words and witness, the extraordinary and endless gift of knowing and being known by another. Whether through faith, community or cherished memories, many people discover a source of strength that helps carry them through seasons of grief and change.
-Chaplain Jenny Schroedel
Grief Support (offered via Zoom)
Monthly Group Wednesday, October 21, 7-8 p.m. CT
We’ll explore the process of letting go and holding on. What do you wish to release, and what do you want to hold on to?
If you are interested in joining a group or establishing one at your community, email is at optagegriefsupport@preshomes.org