Walking with questions
“Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable. How…
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Living with Loss
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The Invisible Suitcase
“We are not alone; beyond the differences that separate us, we share one common humanity and thus belong to each other. The mystery of life is that we discover this…
Treasure in Earthen Vessels
In some of our in-person grief groups across PHS communities, we offer Kintsugi, which is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. The practice in Japan, when a…
The Endless Conversation
“The beauty of life is that it bears fruit long after life itself has come to an end.” – Henri Nouwen When I was a child, my father used to…
Living the Questions
“In this life, there is no finished symphony.” – Karl Rahner Many years ago, I provided support to a young man after his wife died. He struggled with regrets about…
A Community of the Heart
“The more you have loved and allowed yourself to suffer because of that love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper. When your…
Signs of Life
April is upon us – although nights are still chilly, the days are getting longer and brighter. Here in Minnesota, signs of new life are all around us: tulips, daffodils…
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Telling Secrets
“I not only have my secrets, I am my secrets. And you are your secrets. Our secrets are human secrets,…
Grief and healing
In the journal C.S. Lewis kept after his wife died, A Grief Observed, he captured the signs of healing when…
The Case for Hibernation
In this cold, snowy month, fish rest beneath icy lakes, and animals sleep in tree hallows and earthen dens. I…
Grief and the holidays
‘Tis the season of twinkling lights, holiday cheer, and frenzied shopping. But it is also a time of gathering darkness,…
Carrying grief, carrying gratitude
When you are grieving, some might say, “Just be grateful that…” These statements rarely land well. No one else gets…
How we remember
“In the end, we remember people in pieces — slivers of memory, images, bursts of sound, and trails of whispers.”…
Loss & beauty
As my parents were dying, I developed a fascination with birds. I started purchasing feeders and bird baths, researching the…
Am I going backwards?
In A Grief Observed, the journal C.S. Lewis kept after his wife died, he described the circular nature of loss,…
The laziness of grief
“And no one ever told me about the laziness of grief. Except at my job — where the machine seems…
Regrets & finding peace
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” – Soren Kierkegaard, paraphrased from “Journals and Papers…
Mapping our grief
If you were to make a map of your own grief, what would it look like? I think of grief as…
Play your grief card
A grieving mother once shared with me that she was shocked at how insensitive others were, how they kept forgetting…